GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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