does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
