marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
