He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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