Please, let me fuck your mom
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the day after is always just damage control
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my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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