think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
