I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
