I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
