I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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