I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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