they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
