It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
