Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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