OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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