It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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