apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
