dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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