I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
