She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
