For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
