I hate all girls vehemently.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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