On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize