he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
