just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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