well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
last night I used snow as a chaser
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