it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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