If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
