Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
