Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize