you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
is that a dick in a sweater?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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