I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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