do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
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you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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