Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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