The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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