White coat. Heels.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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