3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Come share oat with me in your robe
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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