So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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