Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
