Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
should my penis look like a turkey
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
