Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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