So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
