I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
