I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
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Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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