he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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