hell yes lets make some ravioli
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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