Too much gin, very little bucket
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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