sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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