I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
