My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
