i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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