Ambien. No doubt about it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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