Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
