Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i was born a porn star she said
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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