Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize