Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize