everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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