she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the day after is always just damage control
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize